Saturday, August 6, 2011

Rum and Coconut Ice Cream

We have been running like a bunch of flippin’ loony toons since vacation.   As soon as we got back we had to take care of business, a GIANT branch from our flippity flappin tree fell onto our neighbor’s swing-set (the ones that I steel tomatoes from).  I had to put on my Lumberjack clothes, *you know, polo shirt and khaki pants, then climb up a tree to secure branches so they wouldn’t crush our fence or loved ones before our two family team cut it from the tree.  For a bunch of suburbanites we were a successful team boasting no further property damage or injuries.

After that I had to reluctantly take my middle daughter Miss El back to her mom in Wisconsin which makes all of us a little sad. She had been with us for about three weeks including our trip North.

Of course since I had a week of vacation and the work doesn’t really stop I have been getting into work a little early so that I could hopefully leave on time in order to fight the fricken traffic and get home at a reasonable hour.  Add to that our pool turned green while we were away so we had to contend with that darned swampy mess. Plus a couple of days ago another gosh darned big booger tree branch fell in our yard so we have another cleanup to deal with before our neighbors get back from their vacation to say "I told you that you need to cut that tree down!"

Did you notice my kind and gentle use of expletives?  Let me tell you a quick story… One day I got home from work and had this conversation with Mr. Man (Mr Man is 5 by the way).
Bryan: Hey bud how was your day?
Mr. Man: Good I played with D_ (boy across the street) then had popsicles and rode bikes.
Bryan: Cool, do you need anything?
Mr. Man: I want to have some juice and play monster trucks on the computer.

I set him up on the computer then went into the kitchen to make some juice.  It takes a couple of minutes… then I hear the shout

Mr. Man: Hey I said I want a Schluckin Juice! and I don't want to play dammit Monster Monster Trucks, I want a stupid different game... schluck!

Yeah "schluckin" is exactly the word that you think it is...

I am not sure where he picked up that word...  OK, well I am quite sure where he picked up that word and am trying to maybe not use it so much but still need my interjections, so flippity flappin, booger and some others are coming up more often.

How does all this lead to a recipe?  We'll call it Pirate's Potty Mouth Ice Cream...

14 oz can of coconut milk
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/2 cup cugar
4 egg yolks
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup white rum
2 TBS black strap rum
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup shredded coconut toasted

Put the first 4 ingredients into a saucepan and heat until it is almost to a boil.  Continually stir with a whisk until all the sugar is dissolved and the mixtrue is smooth.

Remove from heat, in a separate bowl beat together the four egg yolks.  Slowly add 1 cup of the cream mixture to the egg yolks stirring the whole time.  If you do this part too fast you end up with scrambled eggs and milk.

Put your pan back on the stove over low heat, slowly add the egg/cream mixture to pan again stirring constantly, add the Vanilla and continue heating until it becomes thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Remove from heat and add the rum and shredded coconut stir together and chill.  I refrigerate overnight, it works best for my ice cream maker  The next day follow the manufacturer's instructions and make your ice cream.

The toasted coconut is for a garnish us as much or as little as you like.  I like to toast mine in a dry skillet I enjoy the inconsistency in  color and texture that I get, you can do yours in the oven if you like but it is too hot and yucky here.  I served it with a couple of slices of grilled pineapple, really the perfect combination.

* In addition to my lumberjack outfit I changed the ringtone on my phone to the Monty Python classic "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK"  None of my tree cutting team has forgiven me for that yet.


  1. Haa, haa I love this post!
    Sorry about your tree....I TOTALLY hear you re potty mouth and I LOVE the ice cream flavours. Seriously Bryan, it sounds like you need a little weekend vacation.
    Can't wait for summer so I can make myself some ice cream

  2. "Little pitchers have big ears"! I'd say that ice cream is a four-letter word. Good!


  3. You and those branches! What a shame. I wish we had a big enough rain storm to knock down branches here in Austin...we need something falling from the sky! This ice cream looks like a great remedy to a hard few days/weeks. I would love a scoop tonight! Thanks for sharing, sweet man. Hugs from Austin.

  4. Okay, I SOOOO needed that laugh today. You Rock.

  5. That was an awesome segway! Sounds like an ice cream recipe to try!