Rum and Coconut Ice Cream

We have been running like a bunch of flippin’ loony toons since vacation.   As soon as we got back we had to take care of business, a GIANT branch from our flippity flappin tree fell onto our neighbor’s swing-set (the ones that I steel tomatoes from).  I had to put on my Lumberjack clothes, *you know, polo shirt and khaki pants, then climb up a tree to secure branches so they wouldn’t crush our fence or loved ones before our two family team cut it from the tree.  For a bunch of suburbanites we were a successful team boasting no further property damage or injuries.

After that I had to reluctantly take my middle daughter Miss El back to her mom in Wisconsin which makes all of us a little sad. She had been with us for about three weeks including our trip North.

Of course since I had a week of vacation and the work doesn’t really stop I have been getting into work a little early so that I could hopefully leave on time in order to fight the fricken traffic and get home at a reasonable hour.  Add to that our pool turned green while we were away so we had to contend with that darned swampy mess. Plus a couple of days ago another gosh darned big booger tree branch fell in our yard so we have another cleanup to deal with before our neighbors get back from their vacation to say "I told you that you need to cut that tree down!"

Did you notice my kind and gentle use of expletives?  Let me tell you a quick story… One day I got home from work and had this conversation with Mr. Man (Mr Man is 5 by the way).
Bryan: Hey bud how was your day?
Mr. Man: Good I played with D_ (boy across the street) then had popsicles and rode bikes.
Bryan: Cool, do you need anything?
Mr. Man: I want to have some juice and play monster trucks on the computer.

I set him up on the computer then went into the kitchen to make some juice.  It takes a couple of minutes… then I hear the shout

Mr. Man: Hey I said I want a Schluckin Juice! and I don't want to play dammit Monster Monster Trucks, I want a stupid different game... schluck!

Yeah "schluckin" is exactly the word that you think it is...

I am not sure where he picked up that word...  OK, well I am quite sure where he picked up that word and am trying to maybe not use it so much but still need my interjections, so flippity flappin, booger and some others are coming up more often.

How does all this lead to a recipe?  We'll call it Pirate's Potty Mouth Ice Cream...

14 oz can of coconut milk
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/2 cup cugar
4 egg yolks
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup white rum
2 TBS black strap rum
1/2 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup shredded coconut toasted

Put the first 4 ingredients into a saucepan and heat until it is almost to a boil.  Continually stir with a whisk until all the sugar is dissolved and the mixtrue is smooth.

Remove from heat, in a separate bowl beat together the four egg yolks.  Slowly add 1 cup of the cream mixture to the egg yolks stirring the whole time.  If you do this part too fast you end up with scrambled eggs and milk.

Put your pan back on the stove over low heat, slowly add the egg/cream mixture to pan again stirring constantly, add the Vanilla and continue heating until it becomes thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.

Remove from heat and add the rum and shredded coconut stir together and chill.  I refrigerate overnight, it works best for my ice cream maker  The next day follow the manufacturer's instructions and make your ice cream.

The toasted coconut is for a garnish us as much or as little as you like.  I like to toast mine in a dry skillet I enjoy the inconsistency in  color and texture that I get, you can do yours in the oven if you like but it is too hot and yucky here.  I served it with a couple of slices of grilled pineapple, really the perfect combination.

* In addition to my lumberjack outfit I changed the ringtone on my phone to the Monty Python classic "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK"  None of my tree cutting team has forgiven me for that yet.

Hot Buttered Rum

Wow it has been a great holiday!  My now 12 year old, Miss El, came to visit for the week between Christmas and New Year so we are hanging out...  We have an unusual amount of snow for this time of year, I have mentioned before that around our neighborhood we are kind of renowned... maybe infamous for our snow antics strange snow creatures come up often.  The four of us decided to go at snow painting this time.  Just some spray bottles from Walgreens, food coloring and water and away we went.

We hit the neighbor's bush

Made a driveway beacon (no missing the turn now)

and some random spots on the lawn...

But it was COLD out so we didn't get as much done as we wanted,  we weenied out one at a time, until I was standing in the yard with four spray bottles of colored water which is, face it is kind of weird.

That was OK though I had a special treat on the stove for me and some hot chocolate for my under 21 teammates.  Hot buttered rum was going for me, one of those drinks that soothes you from the inside and just makes the evening warm.

Makes two servings
1/2 cup apple Cidar
1/2 water
2 TBS brown sugar
2 TBS unsalted butter
3-4 whole cloves
1/8 tsp (isn't that a big pinch) of cinnamon or 1/2 a cinnamon stick
small pinch of salt
1/2 cup dark rum

Heat all of the ingredients in a small saucepan until it starts to simmer then serve.

Hoochsicles

 Yes that is a little teddy bear on the stick.

Ok... Sssh!  a blog that I follow, TKW attempted to make hoochsicles for us a few weeks back, she deemed them a complete disaster and said that they tasted like Pine sol.  Not the most ringing endorsement that she has ever made but it got my mind going.  "If I get the portions of hooch to sugar to water right I can make these with almost anything!"  So I am blatantly copying her idea, since I know that she is away at a blog her convention (finding ways to make her blog even more fancy-pants) maybe, just maybe I can copy and not get caught.

After I stole the idea to make popsicles with booze in them I started to look for popsicle molds, I couldn't find them anywhere for about a month, now granted I wasn't treating it like a quest for the grail or anything but when I went to the store I would look for them a bit, they just weren't around.  Even though I gave up the last tatters of my "man card" a few weeks ago I still wouldn't ask one of the happy Target employees for directions to the popsicle molds, that is just too much.  Finally I found them, hanging on a hook about 5 feet from the coffee (say there is an idea!) at the grocery store.

Anyway, I take my groceries to the check-out and the woman scanning my items asks, "Oh, popsicles, what are you going to make them with?"

"Strawberries, simple syrup and rum."  That answer will kind of get you a strange look by the way.  If you ask me TOTALLY worth it!  Anyone that follows this blog even occasionally knows that I have kids and I am not a complete jerky dad so I bought 2 sets of molds and made them for all of us, well in two separate, color coded batches, from the same base.  I started with the strawberries:

Quarter one pound of strawberries and cook with 1/2 cup of water until soft then put into a blender, add 2 TBS of simple syrup and blend, strain through a sieve to get out all of the seeds.

Put half back into the blender and set half aside.

To the blender add your kid friendly ingredients, we used strawberry yogurt and smashed bananas, blend again and put into the molds.

Now take the rest of your strawberry stuff and put it into the same blender add 1/3 of a cup of dark rum, blend again and pour that into your other molds.

Freeze them both, the next day you and the kiddos have a perfect treat for the afternoon by the pool! 

Island Tea

After all the work I have on the grill lately I wanted to relax yesterday after work with a nice cold cocktail that I could just sip and enjoy. This one makes me think of spending some time on a beach and letting life go by even if it is only for a few minutes. It is simple, refreshing and really good. The ingredients are:

2 1/2 oz Dark Rum

3-4 mint leaves to muddle

1 sprig of mint to garnish

6-8 oz of tea (mine was hot because I just made it)

1 1/2 tsp simple syrup

Put the Mint leaves in a Pint Glass and Muddle with a wooden spoon

fill glass with ice, add Rum Simple Syrup and Tea Garnish with Mint Sprig.